Introducing 'Be You, But Better'

Free life coaching exercises for self-awareness and improvement

Welcome to 'Be You, But Better'!

In this innovative series, we aim to provide you with practical and insightful life coaching exercises designed to help you explore and improve various aspects of your life. As a life coach dedicated to supporting individuals who think differently, I believe everyone should have access to tools that can foster personal growth, regardless of their financial situation. These exercises are offered freely to ensure that anyone, no matter their circumstances, can benefit from professional coaching methods.

The exercises can be done by yourself, or you can do them together with a trusted friend. Whenever you're doing work like this, It's a good idea to write up your responses in a note book or journal. This will increase your self-awareness and help you identify your strengths as well as issues to work on.

Our first exercise is designed to get you thinking about how you think about yourself, so read on below!

Critic and Cheerleader: a Reflective Exercise

Life coaching often involves taking a step back and evaluating various aspects of our lives. One effective method is to conduct a 'life appraisal', much like a work appraisal you might do with your boss. However, we’re adding a twist to make it more insightful.

In this exercise, you’ll perform two appraisals of your life. The first will be from the perspective of someone who is highly critical of you. The second will be from the perspective of someone who supports you with love and respect.

The Critic and the Cheerleader

Before we begin, it's important to clarify who these appraisers are. The Critic and the Cheerleader should be thought of as imaginary beings who have witnessed relevant parts of your life, but they are not people directly connected to you or people you know. Think of them like the imaginary angel and devil that stand on people's shoulders whispering in their ears. They provide different perspectives without any personal history or real-life trauma attached to them.

Please note that this exercise is not suitable for anyone who has suffered a recent loss or trauma. If at any point during this exercise you feel distressed or experience a strong emotional reaction, please stop and take a moment to recenter yourself. If needed, seek additional support from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional.

Why this approach?

By comparing these two appraisals, you’ll gain insights into your internal perceptions and biases. Often, we are our own harshest critics. This exercise can highlight negative self-talk and help you understand how it contrasts with how those who care about you see you. It’s a step toward recognizing and challenging these internal biases.

What should this life appraisal cover?

We recommend looking back over the past week, rather than trying to tackle the same period that a work appraisal would cover (which are usually six months or a year). This exercise also works well after short projects. A short time frame keeps the exercise focussed, which leads to a deeper understanding.

You are free to appraise your life overall (career, relationships, friendships, finances, health, etc) or you can choose to appraise certain areas.

How to Conduct Your Critic and Cheerleader Exercise

1. Find a Quiet Space:

• Choose a quiet and comfortable place where you can reflect without distractions. Write or type brief reponses to the questions below.

2. Appraisal One: The Critic

• Imagine someone who is highly critical of you is reviewing your life over the past week.

• Write down their perspective. What criticisms might they have? What weaknesses or failures would they focus on?

• What did you do to an acceptable standard, if anything?

• What three points for improvement would this critic give you to work on, and how would they recommend you went about this?
  

3. Appraisal Two: The Cheerleader

• Now, switch perspectives. Imagine someone who is loving, supportive and respectful reviewing your life.

• Write down their perspective. What strengths, achievements, and positive qualities would they highlight? How would they encourage you?

• How did you use your skills and abilities effectively in the face of challenges?

• What three key strengths would your Cheerleader emphasise, and how would they recommend you enhance them to be even more effective?

4. Compare the Appraisals

• Read both appraisals side by side.

• Reflect on the differences. Which appraisal feels closer to your own internal perception of yourself?

• Ask yourself why there might be a discrepancy. What does this reveal about your self-view?

5. Reflection Questions:

• How did it feel to write from each perspective?

• What negative biases did you notice in the critic’s appraisal?

• What strengths and positive aspects did the cheerleader’s appraisal bring to light?

• How can recognizing these biases help you in your journey toward self-improvement?

Taking the Next Step

This exercise is just the beginning. Understanding how you view yourself through different lenses is essential for improving your self-awareness. If you found this helpful and want to dive deeper into your self-perception and growth, consider booking a coaching session with Different Keys! I'm here to help you uncover your strengths, challenge your biases, and create a path towards a fulfilling life.

Ready to explore more? Contact me to schedule a free consultation session and start your journey towards a more empowered you!

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with this exercise in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!