Let it Go or Let it Grow? an effective alternative to New Year's resolutions, for any time of year

---

Welcome back to ‘Be You, But Better’!

In this innovative series, we aim to provide you with practical and insightful life coaching exercises designed to help you explore and improve various aspects of your life. As a life coach dedicated to supporting individuals who think differently, I believe everyone should have access to tools that can foster personal growth, regardless of their financial situation. These exercises are offered freely to ensure that anyone, no matter their circumstances, can benefit from professional coaching methods.

The exercises can be done by yourself, or you can do them together with a trusted friend. Whenever you’re doing work like this, it’s a good idea to write your responses in a notebook or journal. This will increase your self-awareness and help you identify your strengths as well as issues to work on.

Our latest exercise invites you to reimagine the concept of New Year’s resolutions in a way that’s much more fun, achievable, and empowering.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work

For many of us, the New Year comes with high hopes and grand plans. We promise ourselves life-changing transformations: to quit smoking, lose weight, go to the gym every day, or become a completely new person overnight. Unfortunately, statistics show that most New Year’s resolutions fail within the first two months. The problem? Unrealistic goals, overwhelming expectations, and a lack of a clear plan.

Traditional resolutions can damage our confidence and self-worth when we fail to meet them. They set us up for disappointment rather than growth.

It’s time to try something different - let it go or let it grow!

The 'Let it Go or Let it Grow' Method

First of all, we're going to ditch the expectation to maintain the resolution for a whole year. It's just not going to work. I've met people who have kept their resolutions for a good couple of months or so, but I've never known anyone manage anywhere close to twelve months.

And do you want to know a secret? I have never managed to keep a New Year's resolution for more than three weeks!

New Year's resolutions just don't work for me, and I suspect that's the case for many of you reading this blog post right now. However, it's important to keep in mind that just because we might be terrible at New Year's resolutions, this doesn't mean we can't make positive changes in our lives with a different approach.

So, let's set things up for success right from the start. How does three months sound? Certainly a lot easier than twelve!

Find a quiet space where you can take a step back and assess your life. If you've been journaling, have a read through recent entries. What things seem important to you at the moment? This exercise is not about grand gestures or big statements. It's about identifying potential areas of change in your life that align with your values. You should decide on two separate aspects of your life that you would like to change, one to reduce or let go of, and one to increase or grow.

Let it Go!

Identify one aspect of your life that isn’t serving you. This could be a habit, a mindset, or a routine that holds you back. Resolve to let it go.

Let it Grow!

Identify one aspect of your life you want to cultivate. This could be a new habit, skill, or perspective, or even a renewed commitment to something already in your life. Resolve to let it grow.

The beauty of this method lies in its simplicity and focus. You’re not overhauling your life—you are working with things that are in your control, making adjustments to your life in ways that are achievable and sustainable over the course of three months.

Review and Adjust: Keeping Your Goals in Focus

Once you’ve identified your “Let it Go” and “Let it Grow” for the next three months, it’s important to keep these goals visible and front of mind. Change is easier to maintain when you have regular reminders and opportunities to reflect on your progress. Here’s how to stay on track:

Keep Your Goals Visible

Some people find it helpful to print out their goals and keep them somewhere they’ll see regularly, such as attached to their computer monitor, pinned to a noticeboard, or even as a note on their phone. A simple reminder can help you stay aligned with your intentions, even during busy or challenging times.

Schedule Check-In Time

To keep your progress consistent and manageable, set aside time for regular reviews:

• Weekly Check-Ins: Dedicate a few minutes each week to reflect on how things are going. Are you making progress? What obstacles have come up? Use this time to adjust your approach if needed, especially in the early stages when building habits or breaking old ones.

• Monthly Reviews: Block out time on your calendar to review your goals in more depth at the end of each month. Ask yourself: Are your “Let it Go” and “Let it Grow” goals still relevant? Do they need refining? Have you made incremental progress toward your larger three-month objectives?

Celebrate! Continue or Change?

At the end of three months, take stock. Celebrate wins, no matter how small . You may find that your goals still resonate and want to continue focusing on them—or you might decide it’s time to tackle a new aspect of your life. This flexibility ensures that the exercise grows with you and addresses your evolving needs throughout the year.

Let it Go / Let it Grow can become a powerful tool for self-development that spans the whole year. By working in three-month chunks, you give yourself the space to adapt, improve, and reflect on your progress. Following the standard pattern, after January-February-March, the next block starts with April, then July, and then October.

Take note, however! This way of dividing up the year may not be the best fit for you and your life.

You may want to shift the start of each three month block to align more closely with the natural divisions of the year, Spring, Summer, Autumn/Fall, and Winter. You can also align the blocks with college semesters or business periods - and there is nothing to stop you shortening the blocks of time or using different divisions if those are a better fit. Although please remember that strength of this exercise is in its simplicity, so please try to avoid getting bogged down in complicated date structures and calendar revisions.

---

Persistence Over Consistency

Change doesn’t happen overnight. Letting go of something negative or growing something positive takes sustained effort over time. However, one of the biggest mistakes people make is setting rigid, inflexible goals that demand perfection. Life is unpredictable, and unexpected challenges can disrupt even the best-laid plans. That’s why it’s far more important to focus on persistence rather than consistency.

Consistency suggests an unbroken streak—a perfect record of showing up every day without fail. While admirable, this level of commitment isn’t always realistic. Illness, family emergencies, work pressures, or even just a tough day can derail your efforts. When this happens, inflexible goals can lead to feelings of failure and the temptation to give up entirely.

Persistence, on the other hand, means continuing to move forward, even when life throws obstacles in your path. It’s about returning to your goals after a setback, adjusting your approach when necessary, and recognizing that progress isn’t always linear.

For example, if your “let it grow” goal is to start meditating daily, don’t beat yourself up if you miss a day—or even a week. Instead, focus on picking it back up when you can. Remind yourself that every effort counts, and every step forward is a step closer to your goal, no matter how small.

Flexible Goals for Real Life

To build persistence into your resolutions:

1. Allow for Imperfection: Accept that you’ll have off days. Missing one or two sessions at the gym, or slipping up on your goal to eat healthier, doesn’t erase your progress.

2. Adapt When Needed: If life circumstances change, adjust your goals to fit your current reality. For instance, if a busy work period makes daily exercise unrealistic, shift to a more manageable three times a week.

3. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results: Persistence is about showing up as often as you can, even if the results are slower than you hoped. Celebrate the fact that you’re still trying—it’s a win in itself.

4. Focus on the Bigger Picture: Remember that this is a three-month process. If you’re moving in the right direction overall, occasional detours won’t derail your journey.

By prioritizing persistence, you’ll create a healthier relationship with your goals and give yourself the grace to keep going, no matter what challenges come your way. Over time, this approach builds resilience, confidence, and a deeper sense of self-trust—qualities that will serve you long after the resolution itself is achieved.

Building Habits That Last

When it comes to making meaningful changes, habits are the foundation. They create the structure needed to support your “let it go” and “let it grow” goals. But building habits takes time, patience, and a bit of strategy.

Start Small and Build Gradually

Diving headfirst into a big change might seem motivating at first, but it can quickly lead to burnout, frustration, or even injury. For example, if your “let it grow” goal is to get fit, jumping straight into a plan to go to the gym five times a week is likely to be unsustainable—especially if you haven’t exercised in a while. Instead, begin with smaller steps, like a 15-minute walk three times a week, and gradually increase the intensity and frequency over the next three months.

Habit Stacking

A proven way to integrate new habits into your life is by attaching them to existing ones. This approach, known as habit stacking, helps make your new habit part of an already established routine. For instance, if you want to start meditating, pair it with your morning coffee routine. Once the coffee is brewing, sit quietly and focus on your breath for a few minutes. Over time, this connection will make the new habit feel natural and automatic.

Anticipate Obstacles

Building habits is rarely a smooth process. There will be days when your motivation dips, or life throws unexpected challenges your way. Planning for these moments can make all the difference. Ask yourself: What might get in the way of this habit? How can I overcome these obstacles? For example, if you want to go for a run in the mornings but know that bad weather might deter you, have a backup plan to exercise at home.

Barriers for Bad Habits

Equally important to building new habits is dismantling the old ones. Bad habits are like weeds—if you simply pull them out, they tend to grow back unless you replace them with something better. To help the process along, create barriers that make it harder to engage in the habits you want to “let go.” If you’re trying to stop doom-scrolling on your phone before bed, leave your phone in another room and charge it overnight. If chocolate is your downfall, place it at the top of a cupboard, and put healthier snacks closer to hand.

Breaking It Down: The Power of Small Steps

Big goals can feel overwhelming, and that sense of being daunted is often what prevents people from starting in the first place. The solution? Break everything down into small, achievable components.

Think Progress, Not Perfection

If your “let it grow” goal is to build a regular fitness routine, don’t expect to go from zero to gym expert in a week. Start small and celebrate small wins. A single 5-minute workout is better than none - and that can be as simple as running up and down stairs at home . Once that becomes a habit, you can increase the duration or intensity.

Set Milestones for the Three-Month Timeline

Think of your goal as a journey with checkpoints along the way. For example, if you want to eventually exercise five times a week, start with one or two sessions in the first month. Gradually add another session each month. By the end of three months, you’ll have built a solid foundation without overwhelming yourself.

Make Each Step Manageable

Large tasks can feel paralyzing, so break them into actionable steps. Instead of “write a book,” start with “write 100 words on 4 days this week.” Instead of “organize the house,” start with “declutter one drawer.” Small, focused actions are easier to accomplish and build momentum toward larger achievements.

Resolutions and Peer Pressure

When it comes to making resolutions, peer pressure often plays a larger role than we might realize. Whether it’s agreeing to join a friend’s ambitious fitness challenge, committing to a group detox, or promising to go “sober for January” because it’s the latest trend, the motivation for these resolutions can sometimes stem less from personal conviction and more from a fear of being left out or judged.

At first, these group resolutions might seem like a great idea—they create a sense of camaraderie and shared purpose. But if the commitment isn’t aligned with your true desires or circumstances, it can quickly lead to frustration and a sense of failure. Worse, the underlying motivation might not be self-improvement at all, but a need to fit in or avoid disappointing others.

When resolutions are powered by shame or a longing to belong, rather than a healthy, centered desire for change, they rarely lead to the kind of growth we hope for. For example, imagine agreeing to run a marathon because your friends signed up, even though you dislike running and have no interest in the sport, or committing to an extreme diet just to avoid feeling like the odd one out at social events.

While you don’t need to cut yourself off from group goals entirely, it’s crucial to pause and ask: “Is this something I truly want for myself?” If the answer is no, then the resolution is unlikely to succeed, and pursuing it may leave you feeling more disconnected from yourself than before.

The Takeaway:

Resolutions should be about your growth, not someone else’s expectations. If peer pressure is nudging you toward a goal that doesn’t resonate with you, it’s okay to politely decline and focus on what matters most to you. Remember: true belonging comes from being authentic, not from forcing yourself to follow the crowd.

Give it a go!

This exercise is a practical way to implement changes to improve your life throughout the year. It’s about small steps and practical solutions, not impossible ideas and punishing regimes.

And if you're feeling musically inspired, feel free to sing your 'Let it Go' and 'Let it Grow' to help motivate you along the way!

If you found this exercise useful and want to dive deeper into personal growth, why not take the next step?

Book a free consultation session with me at Different Keys. Whether you’re looking to clarify your goals, overcome obstacles, or discover new possibilities, I’m here to help you design a life that works for you.

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with this exercise in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!